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The Perfectionist Mentality is FAR from Perfect
The Perfectionist Mentality is FAR from Perfect

CST AdminJul 29, 2016 53 Comments

There are two very important things to realize when it comes to perfection; perfection is not possible to sustain and perfection is not necessary for success.

I have had the great pleasure of being a part of multiple World Series (not to mention Super-Bowls, National Championships and Olympic gold medals) and not once have I witnessed perfection. To be honest, I haven't even been close to witnessing perfection. It is fact, you can be the best in the world and NOT be perfect.

When a person learns to emphasize improvement over perfection, progress accelerates. The perfectionist mentality can be incredibly counterproductive because perfectionists typically get focused on being perfect, realize it's not possible then become discouraged and quit trying all together. Athletes quite commonly have characteristics of the perfectionist mentality. I define the perfectionist mentality as the tendency to set an incredibly high standard for oneself without recognizing improvement. In addition, perfectionists tend to beat themselves up when coming up short of their over-inflated expectations.

Most athletes I coach are very quick to be able to list the mistakes they made during a game or training session, but have to search much harder to list the successes. Athletes come to me with a desire to learn to let go of bad plays faster so that they do not spend so much time beating themselves up. The time spent dwelling on the negative and shortcomings as an athlete is time NOT spent focusing on the next play or the ways to improve. This consequence of the perfectionism, however, is nothing compared to what it does to an athlete’s self-confidence.

Self-confidence is the number one predictor of performance. If you feel good about your ability to achieve something, chances are that you will be successful. If you are doubtful about your ability to achieve something, chances are VERY high that you will fail. The perfectionist mentality wreaks havoc on one’s self-confidence, and in turn, one’s performance.

Here’s why: Research has identified something called expectancy theory. Expectancy theory basically states that whatever a person focuses on expands. In essence, allowing yourself to focus on what you did poorly actually causes you to do more things poorly. Many people believe that beating themselves up for not accomplishing more will help to motivate them to perform better in the future.

However, the research is just too strong to ignore. The negative self talk associated with perfectionism does not cause improved performance. In fact, it’s incredibly counter-productive. However, focusing on what strengths you want to have and specifically what it will take on your part to get those strengths is a tremendous help. In doing so, you can actually cause yourself to become more successful, not to mention experience a much more enjoyable life.

The real key to using the "improvement mentality" as an advantage is to first be aware of the thoughts in your head. When you find yourself focusing on where you fall short, make it a point to answer the following solution-focused question: What is one thing I can do that could make my current situation better?

You don’t have to make your current situation perfect, but do identify one thing that will make it even just a little bit better. The real trick is to become relentless with this process. By relentless, I mean that within 60 seconds of having any thought focused on what you are unhappy or dissatisfied with, re-direct your thoughts to solutions by answering the above question.

For most individuals, especially the perfectionists, it is a very foreign process to replace problem-focused thoughts with solution-focused thinking. For this reason, you must train your brain to develop this type of thinking. A method of training your brain to develop a relentless solution focus is to answer the following three questions at some point each day:

1. What three things did I do well today?

2. What one thing do I want to improve on tomorrow?

3. What is one thing I can do differently that could make the above mentioned improvement?

By making the commitment to answer these 3 questions daily, and to answer the “What is 1 thing I can do that could make my current situation better?” question whenever negative thinking occurs, you will literally train your brain to replace the perfectionist mentality with the improvement mindset. Remember, that which you focus on expands, and if you are constantly focusing on solutions, your success will grow.

 

[Editor's Note: Dr. Selk's first book, 10-Minute Toughness , is on pace to be one of the best-selling sport psychology books of all time and was instrumental in inspiring Pat to further refine CST's performance-based training methodology. The book is the first of its kind in that it teaches individuals exactly what to do to be mentally prepared for competition and sports, and it does so in a very user-friendly manner (PS - You can download 3 free worksheets here that accompany the book).
 

Dr. Jason Selk
Director of Sport Psychology
Enhanced Performance, Inc
7700 Bonhomme, Suite 575
St Louis, Missouri 63105

 

Comments
  • Rob
    30-Jul-2016 12:09 AM

    Great read, I'm not necessarily a perfectionist thinker but I do focus on the my screw ups. I will give this a try and see where it goes.

  • CST Admin
    30-Jul-2016 12:16 AM

    Rob, check out the free bonus worksheets. I think you'll find them helpful. Keep us posted on your progress.

  • Jshbushi-newsletters
    10-Aug-2016 09:03 PM

    How about an example? Let's say I make a bad serve in a raquet sport. Rather than kicking myself over this mental or physical error, what would be a suggestion in this case?

  • CST Admin
    12-Aug-2016 12:36 AM

    Jshbushi, I don't play racquet sports, but I'll try to go with your example. Let's say you make a bad serve and your default response it to chuck your racquet like John McEnroe. Instead of doing that, immediately think about the thoughts of the negative outcome running through your head (a.k.a. metacognition) and redirect them toward the solution-focused question "what is one thing I can do right now in this moment to improve"? Let say you know that a quick solution is to correct the over-pronation in your follow through like you worked on in your training earlier that day. Focus on that exclusively, banishing all other thoughts, then do it.

  • Mark Krueger
    12-Aug-2016 12:48 PM

    Good information, after the article & video I bought / downloaded the e book.

    This is the type of content that I was looking for, keep them coming.

  • CST Admin
    12-Aug-2016 01:12 PM

    Right on Mark! thanks

  • Tworentas
    12-Aug-2016 01:14 PM

    What is the upgrade for premium articles mentioned at the top? I just downloaded the e-book and ordered TAPS and the Sentinel.

  • daniel hall
    31-Aug-2016 09:41 PM

    Great read. Thinking back on my life, it all makes perfect sense. Reminds me of the saying: There are 2 wolves in you. One good, one evil. Which one wins? The one you feed the most. Can not wait to start CST. Waiting to get OK from therapist to say my knee is good to go.

  • Brad.gaumont
    07-Dec-2016 11:27 AM

    I am no longer a perfectionist as of now. I have been for 36 years and I would crush myself after loosing or not finishing first. My entire life. This read is spot on to my poor way of thinking. I am absolutely going to order the book. I just ordered Pat's book on fitness. I've competed in boxing, grappling, I am currently employed as a cop and I'm a former Marine. All I've done is beat myself up in everthing I've tried thinking that if I continued to do it I would master being perfect at it. Thank you for putting this out there. I really cannot wait to attend Pat's class at some point. I would kill to have your company come up to Maine to host a training to show cops up here that being kind and nice during a gun fight is not going to achive success and get you home alive. Thanks again

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